I Wrote A Letter...

As I sit here and watch my currently silly movie obsession, MY FAKE FIANCE, which actually has me more excited to get an apartment than get married. Though if a guy like Joey Lawrence asked me to get 'fake married,' I don't think I could turn him down.

But it's making me put aside my embarrassment and explain a little 'purge' I did the other day.

There's been movies made of what's been going through my mind, other women have been in this same situation, songs have been written about my feelings...but it still didn't stop me from feeling like I was the only person ever to experience this. Ever fall so hard for someone and not know why, but you feel as though it was fate that made you cross paths? Oh yeah, that was me for about two years, no wait, almost three. It sounds so pathetic writing and I've told myself that over and over, but these thoughts didn't go away.

Here's why I had to get over this person...he just got engaged to a girl I know he's been dating probably since I met him. It's wonderful, but now I REALLY need to stop thinking he could ever be an option.

I had always heard when you're mad at someone to write a letter, but not send it. That'll help with your venting your frustrations and get over it. So I thought the same might work for these feelings and with a little help of wine, I filled a pretty gold envelope with 8 pages of everything in my mind. Mind you the paper was like 3 x 5" so it's not like I wrote a novel.

Sealed and hidden away in a box of old mementos, my plan is to one day re-read it when I'm older or come across it when I've thought I've forgotten all about this. I figure I've have a big laugh about how silly I sound and how he was only a pre-cursor to the one I'm really meant to be with.

We'll see. I encourage anyone else to do this too so I don't sound so strange. However, I've still got this kid on my mind.