I Wrote A Letter...

As I sit here and watch my currently silly movie obsession, MY FAKE FIANCE, which actually has me more excited to get an apartment than get married. Though if a guy like Joey Lawrence asked me to get 'fake married,' I don't think I could turn him down.

But it's making me put aside my embarrassment and explain a little 'purge' I did the other day.

There's been movies made of what's been going through my mind, other women have been in this same situation, songs have been written about my feelings...but it still didn't stop me from feeling like I was the only person ever to experience this. Ever fall so hard for someone and not know why, but you feel as though it was fate that made you cross paths? Oh yeah, that was me for about two years, no wait, almost three. It sounds so pathetic writing and I've told myself that over and over, but these thoughts didn't go away.

Here's why I had to get over this person...he just got engaged to a girl I know he's been dating probably since I met him. It's wonderful, but now I REALLY need to stop thinking he could ever be an option.

I had always heard when you're mad at someone to write a letter, but not send it. That'll help with your venting your frustrations and get over it. So I thought the same might work for these feelings and with a little help of wine, I filled a pretty gold envelope with 8 pages of everything in my mind. Mind you the paper was like 3 x 5" so it's not like I wrote a novel.

Sealed and hidden away in a box of old mementos, my plan is to one day re-read it when I'm older or come across it when I've thought I've forgotten all about this. I figure I've have a big laugh about how silly I sound and how he was only a pre-cursor to the one I'm really meant to be with.

We'll see. I encourage anyone else to do this too so I don't sound so strange. However, I've still got this kid on my mind.

Punk Rock vs. Posh Life

Sometimes I feel I live a double life. Most people would say I'm one of those weirdos who has pink hair, wears all black clothes and goes to a lot of rock concerts. But then there's some that will look at me and think I'm this artsy spoiled brat who drinks during the week and dines on the weekend with several trips to go overseas lined up.

But I think what I'm really trying to figure out is not what others may think of me, but where the hell do I think I fit in?

You would think one would have things figured out after college, but sometimes that's not the case. Even with two degrees that should have sent me into teaching or art curating, I still wanted more. So following the leads of so many other sewers/designers, I decided to try to sell my designs on eBay and Etsy and try to get photoshoots set up. Then the next step would be making millions and on my way as the enxt Betsey Johnson.

Not the case.

I'm on the road to a new career dealing with wardrobe and it's so exciting. But until then, it's my social life that can't be ironed out.

It's like, one night I'm out with my fellow punk-rocker seeing Orgy play at Irving plaza (which was awesome as hell) with all the goth kids. All black clothing, pinkish-purple hair and Converses. After, we headed to one of the best bars in town, Otto's Shrunken Head and got glow in the dark drinks and got our pirate on. Plus, the music was perfect Interpol, Smiths, chill dance. After, we hit the diner next door and got disco fries. My new guilty pleasure.

But then the next day I'm off to my friend's birthday celebration. She's this picture perfect Anthropologie hipster and have a fun night around Union Square. We grab food before at Maialino in the Gramercy Hotel. It was snobby older people in suits, dresses and even the hipsters look intimidating. But the food was so good.

After we went to Pierre Lotti Wine Bar and sat outside being the weather has been so nice. The waiter was rude and we all joked about it. But the wine and drink menu was awesome. Had the nicest port wine and two of the people in our group got these absinthe and bourbon drinks called The Ramsey or something and were in love with them (and ready to sleep). PLUS! They had Jacques Torres Chocolates and we ordered a bunch. Perfect compliment for the drinks.

So, that's the two sides of Union Square : punk rock at Irving with pirate rum drinks and disco fries that didn't break the bank and then posh food and drinks that were worth the price, but you have to be aware you'll get looks for the hair color and tiger print dress. Pick your poison.

New Etsy

Listing new items in my Etsy store tonight, March 5th.

Trying to get all old stock up in the online store and yes, I FINALLY will have t-shirts I had made for the past two collections up in the store next week.

Oh, and cross your fingers this week for me! I got denied for vending at this one event, but hoping for confirmation for another, which they're supposed to make this week.

Futuristic Barbarella

How insane are these images?

It has been a long time in the making for me and Elli Fox to finally work together and I couldn't have asked for a better opportunity! She asked for futuristic pieces and immediately I thought bodysuits. I mean, you say future and I think like Star Trek and the weird uniforms they wore. I had some really cool material already on hand and I also bought some really cool hologram material I hadn't worked with before to create pieces for Elli Fox to choose from. Then to my surprised, she shot them all!

photo - Francisco Castro Photography
model - Elli Fox
mua/hair - Amy Ockermand
jewelry designer - Serket Jewelry
clothing - Sibyl Vain: purple laser cut bodysuit, faux sequin leotard, hologram bodysuit

Smoothie Overdose!

Wake up every morning like I work at Jamba...
(see what I did there? haha)

So continuing on my health kick - though I'm not eating an uber amount of healthy stuff - I make fruit smoothies everyday, usually for breakfast. Well, brunch really, being as I don't wake up until 11:30am. Some days I've been having two and while it's not super low calorie, it's a better option than ice cream or cookies.

I start each with a liquid: vanilla soy milk or juice, which I love pomegranate juice
A binder: vanilla Greek yogurt or banana
Fruit!!! Honestly, it's hard to screw up which you pick. Raspberries are my favorite and of course one of the more expensive fruit.

Anyways...Here's my recipes (which change depending on how much you want, you may need to add more while blending, etc)

4 oz. Pomegranate juice / 2 tbs. vanilla greek yogurt / big handful of frozen mango, pineapple & strawberries

4 oz. vanilla soy milk (LOVE Trader Joe's brand) / 2 tbs. vanilla greek yogurt / good helping of whatever frozen fruit

4 oz. juice or soy milk / 1 banana / good handful of frozen fruit, blueberries and strawberries are great

4 oz. juice or soy milk / 2 tbs. vanilla greek yogurt / frozen raspberries & strawberries / 1 - 1 1/2 tbs. choc. chips

I also sometimes add flax seed oil like 1 big tbs. of it into the non-soy milk based ones. I also want to get soy protein powder, but the jars are all huge, so yeah. Looking into chia seeds, agave, super foods and coconut oil.

Just Gorgeous!

I don't need any big intro for these images. They speak for themselves and are stunning!

The gorgeous AiTenshiMisha asked to borrow a couple pieces and I was happy to oblige. Turned out too she was shooting with Alicia C. Photgraphy! Alicia C. was one of the first photographers I worked with back when I started and I've watched how incredible her career has become over the past couple years. Plus AiTenshiMisha is one of her main models, so it was great to finally work with her.

Alicia C. Photography
model/hair & mua: AiTenshiMisha
gold shrug, black dress and ruffle back jacket: Sibyl Vain Clothing

OMG. Food.

I've been watching WAY too much Netflix. I watched two health documentaries - 'Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead' and 'Forks Over Knives.' Really interesting and now I think I'm becoming a health nut. While they never considered themselves vegans, basiclaly the vegan lifestyle was promoted to help maintain your health, live a long life and with eating good amounts of plant-based foods, you could heal your body from the inside out.

What I really was interested in was when they commented on those following this diet how their skin looked great. I don't have horrible acne, but I'm at an age where I'm just like "Seriously? I'm too old for this." I've tried so many skin care products and they don't work. And of couse the one thing I haven't tried is something I've always knew and been told - I have horrible eating habits.

I don't like water. I eat a lot of candy. And while I'm vegetarian, I eat more pastas and breads than veggies and fruits. Here's the start to my attempt at eating a diet full of veggies, fruits, grains and minimal dairy.

The documentaries were mainly about juicing and duh, I never put two and two together that the nutrients from the foods absorb faster and better when made liquid. Gets in the blood stream quicker. Of course. So I'm in search of a juicer, but until then, I'm making smoothies! Frozen fruit, greek yogurt, soy milk and juice and whatever! They've been coming out so yummy and tomorrow I'm starting on making banana-based ones.

I'm also trying to buy good food and I'm a Trader Joe's addict! So to help ween me off sodas, I've been drinking their sparkling waters (lime and the reaspberry & lime are the best) with a splash of juice sometimes. Then their Tom Yam soup - love! And you can heat it up on the stovetop. I just make sure to strain out the pieces from the spice pack before putting it in a bowl.